My heart was once hardened beyond repair,
But you have healed it and helped me to care.
You illuminated my life with your dazzling smile,
You make all the sacrifices in life seem worthwhile.
Our love will withstand all the rough tests of time,
I am eternally grateful to know that you're mine.

Running, she's running through forrest of green,
Eyes closed as she runs so nothing is seen.
Arms pumping wildly, legs going fast,
Silently wishing that this feeling will last.
Running, she's running, she never wants to stop,
Flying free as a bird as she reaches the top,
Running full force until she comes to a halt,
Memories come back, like wounds filled with salt.
As her eyes well up, she peers over the edge,
Wondering if she will really jump off of this ledge.
She slowly turns, with her back to the ravine,
Eyes closed as she thinks, so nothing is seen.
She starts to think of her many mistakes,
She knows that His love is all that it takes.
Running, she's running again through the wood,
Everything in her life is now understood.
At a time when she thought no one loved her at all,
He gave her the courage and she chose not to fall.

Tickle, Tickle, Tickle!
Little baby giggles.
Tickle, Tickle , Tickle!
Little baby smiles.
Little baby's fickle,
When she grows up,
Like Grim Reaper's Sickle,
Her smile now steals your soul.

I
Am
So
Happy
Right
Now!!!!

Like a small child, I fear.
Everytime I turn out the light.
Any small sound makes me tremble,
Roll over and play dead.
Nobody knows how hard
I try to be
Normal,
Good.

To love is to be vulnerable.
Overwhemled by so much fear.

Learning to love, daily.
Opposites attract.
Very happy,
Even though one day, it may be gone.

A simple feeling.
A wordly feeling.
Makes my heart wretch violently,
wretch with happiness, and grief.
At times it's euphoric.
At times, it feels, so terribly wrong.
It makes me feel sick inside.
It fulfills me.
It tears me down.
It lifts me up,
then drops me back down,
again,
and again, yet I allow it to happen,
again.
One still moment in time I feel good.
I feel like I matter.
I feel someone cares.
I feel wanted.
But wanted, only for one thing.

Life as the Mother of a Micropreemie
My child, laying there so cold.
No screams, no cries, no signs of life.
Lips blue, my hands tremble,
I don't know what to do,
I can't scream,
I can't move,
I just stare.
I gasp deeply, Shake her gently.
Tiny limbs flailing, little voice crying.
Sit and cry. Prepare for next time.

Defiled, Stand, Profess, Deceive, Understand, Groanings,
Conscience, Exile, Promise, Confess, Freedom,
Create, Steadfastness, Heed, Blessed
Purity, Iniquity, Praises,
Calvary, Wretch,
Me.

Koala
Soft and grey,
branches sway,
eating leaves,
atop the trees.

I decided to do some freewriting tonight. I asked a friend to pick the topic randomly. He chose two, supeman, and Japanese girls.
I'd like to start off saying I think Superman is silly. I was never a fan, and I never will be. A lot of my guy friends have idolized Superman since birth. All I can say is Blah. He is a dude in tights, and I simply don't have a lot of idolatrous time to waste on men wearing tights, unless they are David Bowie in Labyrinth. I love him. I guess if I were a male my opinion might be different about him. He is sexy and all, but he doesn't hold a candle to Jareth (labyrinth). I don't even know a whole lot about him except that he came from another planet or something, and was raised by people whom he thinks are his grandparents maybe? I am not totally sure. I do know that some radioactive rock can make him cry like a nancyboy. Superman can have his pick of any woman he wants though, because all women aside from myself seem to dig the bulging package under little bitch tights. He could even get a *Japanese girl* if he wanted. Like my segue? Japanese girls make me feel all squishy inside. They are so cute and little. They have really cool hair. It's all shiny and dark. I want Japanese girl hair. They all seem to be pretty thin too, like, anorexically thin. I dig the whole *emo* look but I am too big a girl to even consider it. Any Japanese girl could be an emo kid if she wanted to, because they have the weirdo fashion sense too. There is this website I frequent called Engrish, go there and see what I mean. All in all, I think this little ditty seems to sum up the fact that somehow subconsciously, I hate men. I mean, I ranted about a wholesome superhero, and praised short little weird Japanese girls. Oh what a free-write this has been. One question left....To publish, or not to publish?

Free writing is taking a topic, and just typing anything that comes to your mind. It's a free association type of writing, and may not make sense to the reader. Oftentimes the end topic is totally different from where it started. I like to free write to clear my head of nasty thoughts, and make myself feel better. I don't try really hard to make it grammatically or syntactically correct, I just write. This free write was done for an English class last summer. I don't remember the exact date so I am just going to post it as today's. Free writing is good for the soul. You should try it sometime.

A free-write on love

Love, that one small word that impacts everybody's life so greatly. What is it about that one word that makes it so special?
Love can make you, Love can break you. Love can maim you, blind you, make you happy.
Why do we let this one 4 letter word control our existence to the extent of wanting to die without it.
Love is not a word. Love is a feeling. I could just as easily call it werkelijkheid and it would mean the same thing to my heart.
Words only mean what we let them mean to us. The word fuck for instance. It is only offensive to you if you allow it to be offensive. To some, it means nothing and rolls off the lips without a second thought. To others, that word is abhorred and the utterance of it causes embarrassment and shame. Fuck and Love. Two four letter words, equally powerful. But they do not go together, EVER. They are not the same thing. They merely hold the same amount of power in our perception of the words verbally. The emotions behind these words are what makes them different. All I have to say is, fuck love.